justholdstill

alternatively titled TL;DR

No longer hung way the fuck over, thank god! It's lovely out, and in a little while I'm going to sit in the hammock in my parent's backyard and bask. And attempt to tan, which we already know is a fruitless endeavour. :P In the meantime, though, I'm going to eat a sandwich, and ramble at you about a couple of subjects about which I am lately thinky. I know I said I'd bring fic, but I left it at home, and really, when was the last time I posted about something halfway interesting?

( on the subject of porn (very probably Too Much Information, but interesting to think about) )


( and while we're on the subject of gay )

( on the other hand )

ETA: It occurs to me that the link below is utterly NWS, and I should probably inform people of this fact!

And speaking of sex: WHY, ANTHONY BOURDAIN, WHY???

(.......is it wrong that I would still totally hit it?


...yeah, I think it is. XD)

Bottle of Limoncello: $24.99

Bottle of Tequila (bad tequila): $15.00

Bottle of sunscreen: $8.00

Getting slightly sunburnt anyway, falling down the stairs, puking for half an hour, passing out before eleven and having your friend's dad come in in the morning going, "is this Katie's bra?": Priceless.


Ohhhh, self. You're turning twenty-one in July, and that is just too young to be too old for this (but you are).
Writing is the plan for today, but I think I need the world to stop spinning first. And I'd really like a burger, but I don't think my stomach would, as it's still worrying over water.

*shuffles off to make dry toast*

Because I don't get to be around very much at all, lately, and because I could really use some cheering up. Please? *bats eyelashes*

the what i like about you meme | my thread

Notes for when I return (probably next Wednesday, at this rate): 2 fics intended for the lgbtfest but woefully, woefully late, 1 (possibly 2) thingers for cues, 1 Neville/Hermione - Neville/Harry fic that I have been working on for something like 8 months, and snippets of this Snape/Percy thing that has totally eaten my brain, plus other bits and bobs.
See, I am writing. It's just that my (Boring and Busy) Real Life has consumed so much of my time that I only get to hang around a computer for about an hour once a week. Which is sad, but will hopefully change very soon.

I misses you guys. ♥

Sooooo I put my name in that anonymeme just for the hell of it. I'll see what comes of it, I guess. *shrugs*

In other news, my job has officially eaten my life, to the point where I'm beginning to feel that I may need a new one. It's getting more and more difficult to reconcile the constant stress and ridiculous hours with the shitty wage, even though my co-workers are like a big, dysfunctional second family and I absolutely love the kids I've worked with for the past 2 1/2 years. Besides, I'm going to be going back to school in the fall, and I don't think there's any way I can afford to do that if I stay where I am.

And actually, I have got to be getting to work, so I'll be back (hopefully soon!) with a real update on my life, and also fic!

Love you all. <3

Title: The Dizzying Possibilities of Verticality
Gift for: brittlesmile
Fandom: The History Boys
Pairing: Scripps/Posner
Rating: PG-13
Summary: They both discover that proximity is a double-edged sword – that it is possible to be both tender toward and irritable to a person with whom you live in very close quarters. (written for the drinkswithdakin holiday fic exchange)


Title: Devil On My Shoulder
Gift for: spikespetslayer
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Draco/Hermione
Rating: NC-17
Summary: An unusual book, a secret room, an unexpected visitor, and some rampant teenage hormones all add up to some very entertaining afternoons for one Miss Hermione Granger. (written for the hermione_smut fic exchange

Title: A Second Breath (The Jacob's Ladder Remix)
Author: justholdstill
Summary: Her skin is smooth once more, pale, unmarked, but bones don’t forget, and neither does Luna.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Luna Lovegood/Neville Longbottom
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: All belongs to Jo. Sadly.
Original story: A Second Breath by loony4lupin


She arrives on the other side of the war with nothing, or almost nothing.

So, this one was my contribution to remixredux08. I don't think that the original author has the original story up yet (I'm working on it!), but I do think this stands well enough on its own. She seems to really like my interpretation, and I enjoyed writing it very much, so overall I'm quite pleased. I have some meta-y thoughts I'd like to go on about, but I've got about 14,000 things to do today, so I think meta will have to wait. :)

Title: A Second Breath (The Jacob's Ladder Remix)
Author: justholdstill
Summary: Her skin is smooth once more, pale, unmarked, but bones don’t forget, and neither does Luna.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Luna Lovegood/Neville Longbottom
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: All belongs to Jo. Sadly.
Original story: A Second Breath by loony4lupin


She arrives on the other side of the war with nothing, or almost nothing.

and I likes poetry.


Personal Helicon

As a child, they could not keep me from wells
And old pumps with buckets and windlasses.
I loved the dark drop, the trapped sky, the smells
Of waterweed, fungus and dank moss.

One, in a brickyard, with a rotted board top.
I savoured the rich crash when a bucket
Plummeted down at the end of a rope.
So deep you saw no reflection in it.

A shallow one under a dry stone ditch
Fructified like any aquarium.
When you dragged out long roots from the soft mulch
A white face hovered over the bottom.

Others had echoes, gave back your own call
With a clean new music in it. And one
Was scaresome, for there, out of ferns and tall
Foxgloves, a rat slapped across my reflection.

Now, to pry into roots, to finger slime,
To stare, big-eyed Narcissus, into some spring
Is beneath all adult dignity. I rhyme
To see myself, to set the darkness echoing.

~ Seamus Heaney

There was a fuck-off huge post here a little while ago, but I got bored with it, so I cut out everything but the most important part:

Have any of you ever run across a Queer As Folk (US)/Angel crossover? More specifically, a Brian Kinney/Angel crossover fic, wherein Brian is in LA for a weekend on business, and the hunky trick he picks up in a club turns out to be vampire; naturally, Angel happens to be in the area, and he follows Brian back to his hotel room in order to make the kill, whereupon poor swooning Brian has to think of some way to thank the dashing also-clad-in-leather-trousers stranger.

Pleasepleaseplease tell me that somebody else has already done the dirty deed of writing this and that I'm not going to be forced to, because it will would be crack, utter crack.

The return of the art journal, sans anything meaningful to say about it. :) They're scans, and huge, just to warn you.



warning for nudity in one pic.
( tastes like being poor and small and popsicles in summer )

So, like, if you leave me in a room with a computer and a webcam, this is what happens. The moral of the story? There's a cam-whore in all of us.

( Onward to the vainglorious portion of the evening... )

One of these days I will learn not to drink and blog.

One of these days.

I....have a date?


If you were me, you'd be asking yourself how that happened too.

Dear Remixer,

The fact that I am not around getting to this until, oh, two weeks after the assignments were sent out should tell you a lot about me. :)
I'm a remix virgin, so I'm pretty excited to be doing this - and I'm easy to please, too. As you know, my list of fics is here; I give you license to do whatever you like to whichever story you want. Me and my writing, we're very, er, accomodating. ;) I like to think that remixredux is actually a little bit more for the remixers rather than the remixees, so this is me encouraging you to go wild and original. I just think it's darn cool that someone is going to be applying their perspective to my fic, and I look forward to seeing what you turn out. As for the challenge aspect, well - my fics tend to be more poetry than plot, so good luck teasing a storyline out of all that florid prose.

Looking forward to your remix,
Kate

In other news - hi, everyone! Long time no see, and all that. I checked last night and realised that I haven't actually posted in a month, which I think is the longest I've been away from LJ since this journal was born. During that month my paid account expired, which - I'm pouting because I miss all that shiny icon space more than I thought I would, but given LJ's ongoing fuckwittery I feel better off holding to my decision to withdraw monetary support. Still....only six icons? *lip trembles*

Totally just typed that as *limp trembles*. :P

There's so much I need to tell about, but there's about sixty things on that list and about sixty things I need to do today, so...RL wins this round. But I'll be back. :)

Meme, though!

Everyone has things they blog about. Everyone has things they don't blog about. Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don't blog about, but you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post about it. Ask for anything: latest movie watched, last book read, political leanings, thoughts on yaoi, favorite type of underwear, graphic techniques, etc. Repost in your own journal so that we can all learn more about each other.

ETA: I'm thinking of signing up last-minute for Sweet Charity, but I'm unsure if anyone would bid on me. So tell me, flist. Would you? :P

RIP Anthony Minghella.

Thanks for your powerful and gorgeous rendering of my favourite book, which could have been so easily butchered, and also for The Talented Mr. Ripley, which was as beautiful as it was creepy. You made movies that reflected in images the way I always wanted to write, and for that I'll miss you.

OMG. Oh my god oh my god.

Ani DiFranco is playing Vancouver and Victoria on the 21st and 22nd of April. And there is no way I am not buying a ticket to at least one of those shows.

*cannot possibly cope*

These days I have a kind of mental block toward posting on LJ, even though lots is happening in my life, so it's kind of weird that I'm posting twice in one day. :)

Today I'm having one of those days when I'm posessed with the sudden itch to look for a long-lost something - no idea what I'm searching for, but I've got to rummage through my clothes and books and cupboards, and this pile of papers that's sitting in the middle of the living room (I lie, it's not a pile, it's a mountain, of guitar tabs and half-finished stories and never-started stories and Important Documents and random shit) to satisfy the urge.
Though it would be nice if I could find my Decembrists CD.
Or my muse.

Writing has been really hard lately. And that's saying a lot, because it's always been something akin to pulling teeth for me - I'm painfully slow, and it comes in fragments most of the time, and even when I'm managing to write on a regular basis, self-doubt seems to riddle most things with holes. When I was thirteen or fourteen I could crank out page after page without stopping; now it's as if there's some blockage between my brain and my hand - the ideas are there but the execution isn't.
So I've been pouring my energies into drawing and practising guitar, and taken up jewellry making, but my typewriter just sits there (I imagine if it had eyes it would be looking at me admonishingly). I'd like to sit down in front of it, but I'm actually kind of afraid. Dumb? Yes. Frustrating? Also yes. But I don't have any idea what to do about it.

Victoria in nine days, though. Which isn't Paris or Budapest or somewhere even remotely near the other side of the country, but it's somewhere, and more importantly, Not Here.

But. I've been mulling over what I'd like for my next tattoo - My immediate thought was text, because, as I said to eudaimon, it seems ridiculous to devote your life to words yet not wear them on your body. I think it will and should take some time to settle definitively on the quote or phrase I want attatched to me for the rest of my life, but one has been sticking in my head for a couple of weeks as a definite candidate - a few lines from Bjork's Pagan Poetry.

On the surface simplicity
but the darkest pit in me
is pagan poetry.

Which just seems to fit, you know?

There was going to be a rant about racism and homophobia somewhere in there, but I'm too tired and preoccupied for now, so that will have to come later.

As always, love. ♥

So for the past couple of years, whenever anybody brings up the Chemical Brothers, I've been mentioning this video I caught on MuchMusic one day before school. (Speaking of which, fellow Canadians, does anybody else miss when Much was kinda cool? When George Strombolopolous was around? When they actually played out-of-the-mainstream music? When they played music at all? When they weren't stealing all their programming from MTV? But I digress.) I couldn't remember the name of the video, but I definitely remembered having my mind blown by the crazy hydraulic robots and the trippy concept of the video. And in general, nobody ever knew what I was talking about.

It's Believe. Thank you, google. :P

Okay, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you ( a picture of the back of my neck. )

My mum was actually suprisingly enthusiastic about it - my dad, on the other hand, thanked god it could be "covered up when appropriate" and maintained that tattoos are stupid, but did admit that it was tasteful. And I am in love with it even though it's kind of scabby and peely right now, and thrilled that it didn't hurt half as bad as I expected it would. ♥

I have now joined the ranks of the tattooed.

1. Now the nightmares are just getting comic; last night I dreamed about a killer tire swing. I dreamed that I was a nanny for a little girl who was deathly (ha!) afraid of the swingset in her garden, because every time she went near it she heard a creepy little voice singing and then someone died. And once we went into the backyard, and the swingset had broken her mother's neck, which we knew because there were treadmarks on her cheek. Apparently I woke up for a minute after this, rolled over, said "killer tire swing!" to Kathleen and giggled, then went back to sleep. Disturbing, yes? I thought so. :P

2. And now I am abusing the fact that I am able to use paypal to buy strands of tourmaline and copper-coloured pearls off etsy.com because I've suddenly taken a fancy to the idea of making jewellry for myself.

3. Also, I have my tatto appointment on Saturday. I'm excited about it liek whoah, but I'm also a little nervous, because I don't really know what to expect, pain-wise.

4. Things what I am liking right now: Jack Kerouac (specifically, Desolation Angels), Stealing Beauty (and Liv Tyler, natch), Kurt Vonnegut, the new Radiohead, Hole, Hadouken!, swimming in the morning, and Yves veggie burgers (the veggie kind, not the I'm-soy-protein-masqueradeing-as-beef kind). All of which is very unoriginal-hipster of me isn't it? :(

5. I do not need this. Or this. But it's entirely possible that I need this.

6. I've decided, actually decided, to stop sitting on my butt pining for Paul, so on the fifteenth of February I'm hopping a greyhound all the way to Victoria, and spending four whirlwind days with him and Derek, being dragged to gay bars (I exaggerate when I say dragged, obviously :P), shopping, and generally having all the fun that I can cram into a mini-vacation. I am very excited. :D

7. Lastly, but not leastly - ♥

ETA: did anyone else know that octopodes is an acceptable plural of octopus? Nifty word, eh?